…And I’m becoming old,
so irremediably old
as deadly it is to breathe.
*
O times of yore
In which my tongue was idle
And discontent…
*
Now I’m a swarming bunch of hypocrisy!
O shame on me!
I’m no beast no longer,
I’m no man anymore…
*
But why do I have to be so numb!?
And why do I have to go so low…?
O I’m irremediably old.
*
I have always nursed all cursed,
The people around me,
With a blanket of lies…
*
Acursèd I am to claim my weight
In all superior matter,
And to spot untamèd blunder
Until I become a bloody martyr…
*
Acursèd martyr…
Distorted anguish…
*
Am I to turn my face to all life’s wish?
Why do I have to be so stupid and so vain
That I cannot see but everybody’s pain?
*
I am soul and matter,
Bearing thorns and arrows
That once splattered
Sorrows from my chest…
*
Quite a deadman I’ve become…,
Quite a burden on my soul…
*
So I’m becoming old,
With growing power
To destroy all fate
From dreary face,
And to blow out my despair
And wake up dans l’enfer…
*
O soul, accursèd soul,
I am slumber and regret,
I am joy and I am pain,
I’m your sorrow and my hell…
My hell, for you that claimed me dead.
(Written originally in English)
Tristan des Mers is the pen-name for an English Literature student born in Mexico City in 1984. He is the lead singer of the Goth-Visual Metal band Nifelvein. You can check some of his work, both poetry and music, in http://tristandesmers.blogspot.com and in Nifelvein's myspace. Tristan des Mers forms part of a growing tendency in Mexican yougn artists to write and sing in English.
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